Rejoicing from a Distance

Coming face to face with God's sovereignty is where the testing of our faith is. 

I have friends who have faced hard Providences.  Pain and suffering from the hand of God.  Friends who have had their homes completely wiped away by tornadoes.  Friends who have buried a beloved husband and father in the midst of unbelievable loss. 

I have friends with a child so disabled, she will never live without constant care.  I have friends with 8 children who buried a mom and less than one year later buried one of the children.

I have had a friend survive a terrible medical emergency with a very pre-mature baby, but also with the loss of hearing.  And I have seen my friends bury babies not meant for an earthly life. 

My Providences  have not been so hard, but for now where I am they are a raw wound waiting on the first layer of healing.  My Providences has been 5 babies in heaven.  One buried in my own backyard.

My little boy will wear his boots without socks and rub a terrible blister.  For awhile it is too painful to touch, but eventually it will heal, unless he wears those same boots without socks.  Then the wound opens up all over again.

My wound is healing, but sometimes when my good friends are rejoicing over baby #10, it is like those boots.  I have to start the healing all over again.

So to the two of you waiting on a little one.  I am "rejoicing with you who rejoice", but for awhile I may do the rejoicing from a distance.  For that I ask for grace.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

For some reason, October 29th is always busy.  For some reason, my first born always shares her birthday with an "event".  A "missionary of questionable personality", a miscarriage, a family struggling with missing their mommy.  This year she shared it with a newborn baby - a child for us to care for - if for only a little while (but hopefully not)!

Still she made me a Mommy.  She changed my world.  She changed my world view.  She rocked our world.  We grew up.  The world was no longer about us! 

She is as wonderful at home as she seems to you when you meet her.  She is the most wonderful big sister,  a blessing to our family. 

We kid her: there will be a day that she will take the man she loves to SAMS and try to buy in bulk.  Maybe he too will be from a big family and understand.  For now we take her to SAMS, and we grasp for the few years, the few moments we have left before she spreads her wings to fly.

Daddy and I don't like to think about the day she walks down an aisle, but that is what we want for her.  We want her to know the blessing that they have all been to us. 

For now I will enjoy her every moment.  Much as I did when it was just the three of us running errands together, swimming, walking Clancy.  It was fun then, but it is far more fun now.  For she would not be who she is if it were not for all of the other ones.  They all make us a family.  They all felt her pain today when her birthday was a let down.  They all scurried to make a dinner, cake, presents and bring her laughter. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my precious first!