Jessica's birthday quietly slipped by in the midst of parenting 16 children. A daughter on the precipice of life. A woman wanting to be a mom and have a new life, but not wanting to walk away from the childhood life here. She is precious and wonderful, and we talk about the day she is not here because we don't know how we could possibly live a day without her to give our life stability.
Rachel's and Erin's birthday arrived much like them - with flare and gusto. They have made birthday demands that Jessica would never have imagined making. Still Jessica loves them more because they are this way, and she is not.
Rachel- my twin - in so many ways, but still I pale in comparison. Rachel who I tortured through a ridiculous time of trying to make her learn to read. Now with wisdom and mostly age, I know I would only hold her in my lap and read to her constantly. For when it was time to read, she read and has never stopped.
Rachel who brought me to tears over wondering if she would ever stop getting into mischief. She is now the family worker. She works even when she does not know she is working. She just accomplishes so much. She is competitive and fearless. One day a boy will come along who can out run her. Heaven help him. Her daddy has promised to talk him through all he faces for he has survived it with me!
Erin, who sees life in a different way. Her humor has begun to surpass her father's wit. She hears all even though she pretends that she does not. She eats, sleeps and breathes music. And she irons!!! She has built quite a lucrative business ironing for the family. She makes her biggest profits on Sunday morning when she charges double the going price!
Erin is a rock in the midst of chaos. She is calm to a point of frustration for me, but it is a blessing beyond compare. She patiently cooks with Michael when I would have put him in front of a Rescue Heroes and gotten my work done in half the time.
I am learning the this side of parenting is 200% harder than the 12 and under days. Girls looking to me to let them have enough room to fly, but to be waiting at the nest when they come home. The wounds of the world are much deeper than the cuts and bruises of a fall off a porch on a scooter or a pencil through the foot. These wounds are of the soul.
Our talks are deeper. Sometimes they dread the conversations that begin, "I have something to tell you." But they are better. How wonderful to have the laughter and support of a Christian home. I make so many mistakes. Forgive me girls. I have no idea what I am doing. Maybe by the time Sarah is here, you will have your own daughters, and we can try to figure out all of this together.
Until then, I thank the LORD for you each moment of the day.
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